sailing friendships

friendship: titanic or rowing boat?

i have a really strange feeling that keeps coming back.

i find myself thinking about just how wonderfully normal my friends are.

but at the same time, sometimes i wish they were more crazy.

solution to this problem? make more friends. i find that being friends with pretty much everyone or being generally nice will keep you entertained. the bigger the ship, the more awesome you are. but hit an iceberg and the all the passengers will fight with each other and you.

so do you escape on a rowing boat and have a quiet life with your closest friends? this is nice. but all the time? maybe when i'm older (think 50). i like having heaps of friends. my group of friends right now is 20 people. and that's not including men.

friendship is a weird thing. sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. sometimes you fight for something you know won't work out. sometimes the best thing that's happened to you just fades away.

at the end of the day, all my friends are fine the way they are; better than that even.

(enter annoying fat chick in mean girls that "doesn't even go here"........"i wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school, i wish i could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy".....what a sissy)

tired. stressed.

you'll feel better on swisse. (yeah i watch huey's cooking adventures. what of it?)

(yeah i know it's for prostate. i did it on purpose. i knew you would enjoy it)

there are currently nine people living in my house.

all asian extended family.

hello discomfort.

waking up with "strangers" near your face.

can't get changed without having someone see you.

can't go to the bathroom without waiting for at least another hour.

can't go on the computer without two+ people standing behind you snooping about.

seriously...GO AWAY!

i just want like five minutes....actually like.....lots of five minutes....put together.

oh dear lord. i really take my space for granted. and now that it's gone....i just want nothing more than to have like 2m by 2m of "me" area.

seriously, i am getting squashed like this baby right here:

so anyway yeah. trying to escape snoopy people is making me tired and stressed. but i refuse to take swisse.

all alone

i have commitment issues. i always only choose one or two people to be really really close with.

no doubt i am friends with everybody and joke around and stuff.

but when it comes to really staying around, there is only a few friends, some family and SRC (i'm the president and i'm not gonna let anyone down. when i say i'm gonna do something, i do it.)

that's why i keep most people far away. there are a few reasons for this and here is the first:

The Grand List of Best Friends

1. my first best friend when i was about 6, named morgan, was my english neighbour. we made lavender perfume, ate pizza, watched cartoons and movies, had april fool's day everyday and walked all the dogs on the street. after a couple of years of this daily activity, morgan and her family had to move back to england. leaving me...all alone.
2. my best friend in year 2, i would have been 8, used to play in "fairy world" with me everyday. she invented the imaginary world and we used to run around the oval having adventures with fairies (no shit), goblins and other midget creatures. one day, stephanie (twas her name) decided that i was banned from fairy world and became best friends with kelly. we didn't talk again til year 4.
3. the bestest friend i've ever had was called georgia. from year 3 to year 7, she was my best friend. we just laughed all the time. seriously anything and everything is funny to us. everytime we meet up again we spend about 90.87% of the time laughing. it's not awkward at all even though we live and school at different places. i really should see her more often...but we kind of just drifted apart.
4. from year 7, i had a few best friends which didn't last long and i am still really close with them now but we are either in different groups or just have totally different interests. in this group of people i would put in chronological order: bec, amy, sarah, marina
5. from year 9, my best friend was and is jenna. she is sarcastic all the time (perfect for me), super funny and we were put together in maths. well not really. but we sat in pairs and her friends and my friends had all evened up. leaving us as the odd remainders and "forced" to sit together. at this time i was obsessed with england. (previously germany, canada, france, america and currently sweden) when she came back from her europe trip, including england, she had randomly bought me a pen with the british flag on it and one of those buckingham palace guard dude's head on the top. yes we have the perfect friendship. lazy. half arsed and unspoken. she doesn't talk much. i talk at her but really i'm talking to myself most of the time. we are both really tired all the time (she = chronic fatigue, me = insomnia & anemia). we have similar, nay the exact same, interests. pretty much perfect. but the only fault is that we just sit around. 24/7, we are physically close but emotionally, we both hold back. i think we will stay friends for the rest of our lives though and potentially reach that emotional closeness before death....possibly on our deathbeds next to each other.
6. having said that, the person i am probably the most emotionally close with that is not a member of my family is amelia. she is another great friend. i basically talk with her all night every night.

so these failed best friendships have made me hesitant to fully let go. stupid, i know but i'm happy with half arsed. especially cos jenna is a genius and i'm amazingly awesome. we are basically the same person.

next up: The Family and Relationships

1. my parents are never home cos they are at work. i actually do not see them at all unless dad is driving me somewhere. their only day off is sunday. we used to go out on day trips every sunday but now we only have tea together, if that.
2. my sister diana and i have a strained relationship. she used to slap me (worse was the face cos you could see the hand approaching) when i was little and be really mean. when i was about 10 and realised this, i returned the favour and was verbally abusive to her til i was about 15. no doubt she equalled this but it was a nasty thing all round. now she has moved out and matured a lot, actually acting her age and as an older sister. we have made up and understand each other more but definitely still fight (like normal sisters...no?)
3. my eldest sister kitty is the appointed ersatz mother. since i am the youngest, she paid extra attention to me. i actually only felt that she was the only person that truly cared about me. then when she got married (yes it's normal i know), she moved out of house. but the thing that was really upsetting was that she moved overseas too. from one extreme to the other. now i only have contact with her on a bi-monthly basis. (laziness and occupiedness on both our parts)
4. my sister rainbow is the closest to me in terms of age. we share pretty much everything. since we were kids we were probably the closest. but through our adolescent years, we drifted apart. she goes out every night and every day and i'm under house confinement.
5. with family out of the way, i will confess that i've never had a real relationship. well, i wouldn't count anything less than a month and younger than when i was 14. and the current one i am in, though it has just passed a month, is quite frustrating indeed.

i only choose to be with lazy or neglectful people so i know what to expect and won't be disappointed. but i am quite happy with my family and friends at the moment.

another reason: Home Alone

this poor kid was/is me every single frickin day. home alone. without parents.

he was screwed over again in home alone 2, in a new location: new york.

he couldn't take it anymore so a new kid was recruited for home alone 3.

then in home alone 4, yet another child was traumatised.

but anyway. this is way too much opening up for me to handle so i have to stop now.

o romeo, romeo, wherefore art thou romeo?

i have realised something just now.

romeo and juliet is the most ridiculous play i have ever read.

if i were to like a guy, and this guy liked me, i would not be standing at my balcony wondering where he was...out loud. worse yet, if i did do this, and he appeared out of nowhere and asked me to marry him, i would not say yes. especially not the day after. and afterwards i would probably stay away from him.

apparently, the good man william shakespeare intended for romeo and juliet to be around 14 years old (heaven forbid). at 14, romeo loses rosaline. he sees juliet. they "fall in love". they get married. they kill themselves. at 14. that is sick. they are clearly just insane out of their brains.

and they all just kill each other. tybalt. mercutio. and of course romeo and juliet. it's not even revenge tragedy. it's not a love story. to me it's just a sick tragedy. that is overdone and unbelievable. the storyline, i'm talking about. entertainment value would only come from humour.

i will admit the film version with claire danes and leonardo di caprio is entertaining though.

claire danes is hot and dtf, down to fuck, one.

two, when "da boys" are riding in their car playing doof doof music the lyrics are "da boys, da boys" with a true ganga wog accent. it's classic.

three, mercutio is black and provides the best part of the movie when he taunts "row-may-o".

leonardo di caprio is frickin hilarious when he's crying, yelling "juliet" and "then i defy you, stars". all squinty and topless with no package to offer, no washboard for the laundry, no grater for the cheese, no sandpaper for jesus (yes, he was a carpenter).

hey look, a japanese version that is based (very loosely) on the story of romeo and juliet. go asia.

but overall, it's a ridiculous storyline and i can not empathise or sympathise with them arty fartys that looooooove it...i'll love you in a minute (not really).

i'm under house confinement

and it's not fun at all.

to entertain myself, i am looking through my compiled pictures of things that interest me:

behind chuck norris' beard, there isn't a chin, just another fist.

lovely.

ok you might not be a green day nut like me. but behind fry, that is the album art for dookie, green day's third album released in 1994. yes, it is part of my ridiculous over a thousand dollar green day collection.

the greatest show ever. inspector rex. or to purist fans like myself: kommissar rex. i want a german sheperd so i can call him inspector rex. all those ham rolls. the fat guy. the ugly guy. and the hot guy. this guy was my favourite inspector, kommissar brandtner i think he was called. but the main "hot" one kept changing actors and names.

napoleon dynamite. enough said.

blades of glory. no exaggeration the most quotable movie ever made. along with mean girls. but i like this one better. my friend and i have a wall post on fb quoting the whole movie from start to finish. yes, i am a god. we aren't done, but hopefully it'll be done by the end of the month....these few months....the year.

yeah i'm bored.

eye sea you: 2nd edition

just a little more webcam fun:

preparation

you wanna die napoleon

wanted

roar

down

and that's all for now...

gaming

the best of times are spent with those you love...nah jokes. they are spent with games of course.

time zone may be quite limited...but it was sufficient. i kill at air hockey. the 7-4 win was so worth the pain i feel in my arm right now. my best friend refused to verse me, claiming that i hit the puck way too fast and hard. whatever...sissy.

i came third at car racing. i don't even have my l's. i was beaten by one holding their l's and one holding their...wait for it...p's. yes. asian drivers. the worst kinds. have managed...in this instance...to keep up with a p plate bearer. and i haven't read any of the driving manual yet.

we also played this weird japanese game. oh god they are the best kinds. it was like a shooting game but you had to throw those colourful balls from ball pools at the screen. it was touch screen...quite exhilarating. there was also pedals...which we just kept pressing cos we had no idea what they were for. we failed the first task but came back with A+++ in the second. that's right. triple plus. my fake lesbian lover and i stole an orange ball. she kept dropping it under games cos her jacket pocket was really shallow. but i came to the rescue like the false lesbian knight in shining armour i am and picked it up for her several times.

i can only think of one negative in gaming. all hard core gamers, if not asian, are emo asian wannabes and not attractive. should i ever be approached with the rare opportunity of meeting a hot normal gamer, i always get retarded and screw it up before i even meet them. it would be nice to share the gaming passion with more and more people, that aren't sickos with asian fetishes.