superheroes

yeah spies and secret agents are pretty cool. but superheroes are better.

i like batman the best. cos he doesn't actually have superpowers. he is just fucking epic.

which leads me to this:

scott pilgrim vs the world has now come on par if not beaten inception.

notice how many times the word "epic" is on that poster.

is any dipshit still asking why?

Reason 1: Michael Cera

the scout kid off my best friend's an alien. hot. awesome clothes. not nice topless though. a bit gay. also has a oversized nose. the clothes and hair compensate though.

Reason 2: Kieran Culkin

little brother of macaulay culkin. his age is 27. 27 is a fine number indeed. he plays a gay. need i say more?

Reason 3: Brie Larson

she plays katie in united states of tara. her familiar face was a super swell surprise for me while i was in the cinema. she is on the left:

the asian pisses the fuck out of me. she was too cutesy, clingy and annoying. and in the picture above she looks possessed. the girl who plays ramona also pisses me off. i like ramona, but the actor is kind of butch. even in the picture above you can see her sticking her shoulders out to make her look thinner/bonier. and not so frickin butch. dyke.

Reason 4: Split screens

as seen below. nuff said.

Reason 5: fight scenes

michael cera being manly (well as manly as he can be) + flaming swords + nice clothes+ floating orb shit+ references to other things in pop culture = orgasm.

Reason 6: comic book/gaming-ness

it's good when a movie is close enough to the original book/story thing. but some stuff was left out. fuck two hour movie limits.

notice how in the cast collage, the ethnic people (asian chick, indian dude) are without their comic pictures. tsk tsk. how racist. also, i heart the swearing chick on the right. hilarity.

Reason 7: the amount of blue in this scene

i love the colour blue. it's no green. or purple. but it's probs my second favourite colour. (tied with purple) it looks good. the sky is blue. blue lollies are good. my fender strat guitar is blue :)

and now for something completely different (never gets old)

my best friend jenna and i are mirrored in many texts (oh fuck english). these include anything with michael cera:

and yes, i watched scott pilgrim with jenna. in the cinema i kept on going "oh fuck it's us"..."holy shit is that ninja dance machine thing a real game??!?! WE HAVE TO PLAY IT TOGETHER!"..."oh shit look. us. in a library together"

cardis, jumpers, hoodies, jeans, matching positions. we have the "michael cera plus one" married/smitten couple down pat.

juno: i am juno. jenna is bleeker/michael cera.

seriously everything or a significant amount fits every time. knives chau is asian and in uniform. i am asian and in uniform (holy shit...even right now). juno is sarcastic and fucking epic. i'm sarcastic and fucking epic. and jenna = michael cera. look at her eyeballing me from the far left.

our good buddy amelia also claims that we are kick ass and red mist.

i am kick ass cos i'm the ring leader and fucking awesome. his costume is fucking gay though. i would have done much better. fathering a child with a 40+ year old woman at 19 however, i would support. (the actor not the character).

and jenna is red mist. cos she drives and has a car. also cos the actor is fogel aka mclovin in superbad....HILARIOUS! although michael cera is in that movie. so she'll just have to double up there. and i'm the fat guy, seth. cos he's the ringleader. plus he gets the hottest chick. who isn't even that hot but oh well. he is also fat...

for harry potter doppler ganger week, i was cho chang. obviously cos she's asian and a chick. cho chang is a less hot and scottish accented version of me.

what a long fucking blog.

i shall end it with a picture that will blow your mind. in the maths corridor at my educational institution, i was walking across a few years ago looking for some adhesive materials when i stumbled across a whole collection of optical illusions hanging on the walls. "how. fucking. awesome." i thought. the artist is a flying dutchman. m.c. escher. (yeah i looked it up cos i knew if i said "oh yeah it's by some awesome dude but i forget his name"...some DOUCHEBAG would annoy me about it later...YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, FAGAL)

i like this one:

when i leave the horrid educational institution i am currently at, i may approach my maths teacher with a proposition. to get all the pictures off him. or i could just buy them myself elsewhere. either way i will own them all. plus jenna is making me a shirt of another picture.

so i'm cool.

MMM...goats?

disgusting animals.

goats cheese. the three billy goats gruff. goatee. fainting goats. men who stare at goats.

yeah they are equally interesting as they are boring.

but this is the funniest thing i have seen in a while.

a manboy going totally psycho over a goat climbing a ladder.

in a video game, no less.

it just keeps getting better. his comments. his laugh dying away. so. damn. good.

i usually hate teenage boy laughing. all testy pops and totally out of control. but fuck this guy is contagious. everything he says makes me feel pure joy.

another thing that induces pure joy? the song MMMBop by Hanson. childhood memories going haywire. the tacky video clip with the green screen. and all those damn flowers. and roller blading around town. good times.

but i always thought the only lyrics were "mmmbop".

how wrong i was.

You have so many relationships in this life

Only one or two will last

You go through all this pain and strife

Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast

And they're gone so fast

So hold on to the ones who really care

In the end they'll be the only ones there

When you get old and start losing your hair

Can you tell me who will still care?

Can you tell me who will still care?

Mmm bop, ba duba dop

Ba du bop, ba duba dop

Ba du bop, ba duba dop

Ba du

Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose

You can plant any one of those

Keep planting to find out which one grows

It's a secret no one knows

It's a secret no one knows

no one knows

In an mmm bop they're gone.

In an mmm bop they're not there.

In an mmm bop they're gone.

In an mmm bop they're not there.

Until you lose your hair. But you don't care.

Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.

Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?

Can you tell me if it's going to be a daisy or a rose?

Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?

Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.

that's right. rose is in there. several times. how special i feel right now. oh yes.

don't know about the losing hair line though. i hate baldness.

but still. pretty deep for a bunch of kids.

i could so go for some roller blading right now.

vaykay

all the exams and switch over of grades are fast approaching.

though i don't really want one yet, in a few weeks, days, hours even, i will want a vaykay.

badly.

all the stress of life is going to smash me in the face when i'm not ready for it. and i will feel a little bit like this guy here:

(simple. he is bald. therefore too freaky, disgusting and dumb to realise that he could use his GIANT right hand.)

so, to show my desire for a long vacation, i will share with you the hottest asian man on the planet from a japanese series of the title, long vacation. i have so many childhood memories of watching this with my family, singing along to the theme song. i had no idea what it was all about. i was like four. but i sure did like the theme song.

fuck. the ultimate combination. hot asian man + asian girl + piano = epic asian extravaganza

so anyway this guy, takuya kimura, is like the most ageless, perfect, asian man. a bit on the feminine side but this is overridden by his hot buff body.

ha, he is nicknamed kimutaku.

also, he looks a lot like matthew broderick (aka ferris bueller), plus ten billion points.

should really write my essay on franz ferdinand now (no, not the band. the archduke who was assassinated by gavrilo princip, leading to world war one). desire for a vaykay now rising to the fore. oh yep. there it is.

take me out.

i scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream

fairy floss = the most delicious thing ever.

oh and ice cream is pretty good too.

there are so many kinds. you got your ice blocks. tubs of ice cream. gelato. ice cream on a stick. chocolate coated. bubble gum inserted. golden gaytime? pretty much everything is there.

my favourite ice block? lime flavoured ones. sugary green goodness. they are closely followed by those lemonade ones. yum. schweppes is particularly good. i have fond memories of getting one of those ice blocks every time my family went to hornsby pool.

here i am eating a green ice block. notice how happy i am. below, you can see my best friend jenna and i posing as lesbians. why? i am wearing purple leg warmers and eating a green ice block. purple + green = lesbians. not really though. that would be sick. why? cos you don't screw the crew. jenna being very much so a part of my crew.

why ice cream?

cos this afternoon when i walked home, i was excited when i saw the home ice cream truck. my happiness was shattered when i saw the indian man inside the truck. no i'm not that racist. but this indian guy is seriously the most annoying person on earth. he insists on ringing the bell non-stop at about 247 dings per minute. and NO ONE on my street gets it cos they are all 80+. except for me sometimes. today was not one of those days.

reward the indian man for waking up my whole neighbourhood at 3pm during their afternoon catnaps?

no siree.