i got an email

my lovely friend nicole always emails me random crap to entertain me.

trailers, pictures, things i am/we are both interested in.

it's wonderful.

but the best thing she has ever sent me

(except maybe the trailer for the movie flipped which btw i watched just now and i realised that i have never actually listened to the dialogue in it and only the sweet 50's music. she also sent me this picture which took her apparently forever to pause the trailer to get)

arrived (came?) this morning (that was the biggest tangent ever):

"maybe a reason for you to buy the dvd"

ps. nicole i was always going to buy the dvd. but this is for the box set - meaning the six comic books. graphic novels. there is only one movie you see. but a poster with it.....god.....makes it so much sweeter. and i must get it.

what is this doing in my pictures?

oh i remember now....a friend sent this to me when we were making a "famous faces" sheet for a trivia night. which i didn't win :O i blame the lack of asians on my team.

now my sister, ben ten and me are watching john safran's race relations.

he is a sick sick man.

i did quite like music jamboree though.

flying etiquette

i have this thing.

i can't sleep on planes.

(or any other type of public transport. except for trains/buses if i'm with someone i like)

this makes 16 hour plane rides quite fun as you can imagine.

it's not that i don't trust pilots. (yeah i totes took a sly shot of some just as i was about to board a plane to brisbane)

i just can't fall asleep. i can't normally anyway. but on planes it's like. ridiculous. i think it's cos i don't want people to touch me or my stuff when i'm unconscious. cos that would be weird. i also don't like taking off and landing. scary. i usually hold someone's hand.

i don't like it when people complain about their discomfort during flying....like, i can't sleep. at least you did. bitch.

plus this one time, i had to sit through 13 hours of this kid crying and kicking on my chair the whole entire time. why did i put up with it? cos they were asian. and i could hear the mum trying to calm him down and saying stuff like "you'll hurt the pretty girl in front of you". and when i turned around after about 7 hours, i saw that the kid was mentally disabled. he had blue eyes (not right for an asian) and a hearing aid i'm pretty sure. plus there was no way a kid would chuck such a bad and continuous tantrum. so i just closed my eyes and didn't think about it. rainbow (my sister) fell asleep on my shoulder and wouldn't stop complaining about the kid. and i was like "do you have a heart dude? are you frickin kidding me? i'm the one that is actually in the seat he is kicking and i'm not complaining. so grow a pair"

then the rest of the trip was lovely:

how cute is this little hispanic boy sitting on the suitcase conveyor belt thing waiting for his backpack:

bondi rescue on a plane? i love you qantas.

tetris on a plane? i love you aircalin. (yes, i got all the way to 99 999 999)

walking in semi rain to the airport? not so cool. but check out our braces! how cool are we. no, seriously, leela from futurama had braces. nuff said. i love us:

i totes have good flying etiquette.

bon voyage? piss off. (piss off yourself...wow just couldn't help myself but quote billy elliot. this is getting bad.)

drunken treasures: 2nd edition

nicole makes me blog again

i've never seen a prank call done with better control

ah. arch of the bow. killing my head.

kanyemite

...let you finish

a year after the most awesome event ever happened (taylor swift almost dying), kanye west has made an epic apology on twitter that spans over like 9 full scrolls of the scroll bar thing (yeah i measured). it's quite fascinating really. he says absolutely everything on his mind. and eventually just ends with "i'm sorry taylor".

how the event unfolded (p.s. how epic is kanye's hair) (p.p.s. wtf is taylor swift wearing? a beanbag of sparkles?):

hey, imma gonna stop your c(o)unt-ry bullshit, kanye's got the house now

don't worry, imma gonna let you finish

but beyonce had the best video clip of ALL time

OF ALL TIME!

nuff said.

i love kanye. his best songs for me are gold digger, stronger and love lockdown (i had to do a dance to touch the sky in year 7. my partner was amy colla and we wore black and purple). i rap the alphabet with him on tuesdays. but he always seems to be stuck on the letter "a". fine examples can be seen here, and i also print screened the best moment cos i'm nice:

remember when kanye west and 50 cent had that mexican stand off during that award ceremony all those years ago. i just remember that there was a comment made like whoever sold the most albums/won the award in that year would continue making music. and the loser would die in a hole. i'm thinking 50 cent may have been the loser. the only song i know of his is "just a lil bit" not famous. oh i lie. i also know his tap drill song. good shit.

back to taylor swift: every time i look at her, a part of me dies. those plasticised curls actually make me feel physically ill. she is also more squintier than an asian. i'm glad kanye slayed her (ha, dragonslayer...go survivor). she obviously wasn't very good at accepting awards anyway. whiny crying, dropping them, trying to inhale them. kanye did what any kind person would do; prevent taylor from embarrassing herself.

wtf, taylor swift brunette?!?! oh dear god. she looks like a little boy. and strangely like nicholas hoult, who i had a massive crush on. he's the kid from about a boy, my favourite movie for a long time. then he was tony on skins. woot. skins seasons 1 and 2. holy shit i am actually getting rather disturbed by this. they could be identical twins. they have the same nose, eyes, lips, face and scary upturned eyebrows.

but back to rappers.

all this time, we have been looking for answers to the most hilariously weird shit that has been going on this past year. apparently joaquin phoenix losing it is actually a hoax. there is a documentary movie being released about his rapper life called "i'm still here: the lost year of joaquin pheonix". he has said that it's not an act and everyone should take his music seriously etc. but he also later said that it was all put on for the "mockumentary". he's either crazy as shit. or the most epic actor known to mankind. either way he should be called leaf pheonix again.

watch as the hair travels from his head, to his chin:

he was once normal you know. and hopefully, all this is a hoax and the normal guy will come back. one things for sure though, at the moment, it's all scary ass shit.

hey! kanye let me finish!

see, if you weren't such a c(o)unt-ry, taylor, you'd be rapping the alphabet with kanye and joaquin too.

foe-tography

i quite like photos. even bad ones.

it's amazing that you can instantly obtain part of what you can see into a shiny bit of cardboardy stuff. and polaroids are another wonder altogether.

photos on the covers of magazines.

rolling stone always manages to have good ones. i like in the glee cast pictures that they show what their character is like. notice mr schue undoing frog eye lady's dress while his wife terry is looking at herself in the mirror. she is also dressed like a fifties housewife; wanting everything to be perfect. also, i swear to god the person that plays rachel berry is always just looking for an excuse to be a whore. she has nine tatts. intense.

they also did a similar cover for friends:

oh how i love sailor outfits. the hat and the collar = nautical hotness.

even the ugliest loser would look cool. maybe not doable. but at least cool.

future sailors...ah yeah. go the mighty boosh.

photos of the sticker variety.

i also love sticker photos. best friends, friends, family. they are super swell fun.

i think this is my favourite sticker photos sesh so far. not cos of how i look. but cos my family is awesome. we took this after watching billy elliot the musical. go asians.

photos of hot people.

dhani harrison totallylookslike.com george harrison? WHAAA? no way? must have something to do with the fact that they are son and father??!?!

oooo...purple hair!

oooooo....glasses! (p.s. oh ringo. you're so random)

oooooooooo...chocolate milkshake!

photos of the vintage kind.

the beatles. excellent monty python like humour. amazing music. good movies. hot to look at. awesome clothes. these four people combined could satisfy me for the rest of my life.

photos of the most epic costume in the world.

at my educational institute in which i lead, teach and learn. one girl had the most epic costume the world has ever witnessed on "harry potter" day. it made my life.

(in case your epic-o-meter is not functioning properly, i am talking about voldy on the right)

photos of the unknown variety.

i have no idea where this picture is from. but when i saw it, i saved it. cos it's amazing. it just looks cool. i like the purple stripe thing.

so photos: friend or foe?

i vote friend.

superheroes

yeah spies and secret agents are pretty cool. but superheroes are better.

i like batman the best. cos he doesn't actually have superpowers. he is just fucking epic.

which leads me to this:

scott pilgrim vs the world has now come on par if not beaten inception.

notice how many times the word "epic" is on that poster.

is any dipshit still asking why?

Reason 1: Michael Cera

the scout kid off my best friend's an alien. hot. awesome clothes. not nice topless though. a bit gay. also has a oversized nose. the clothes and hair compensate though.

Reason 2: Kieran Culkin

little brother of macaulay culkin. his age is 27. 27 is a fine number indeed. he plays a gay. need i say more?

Reason 3: Brie Larson

she plays katie in united states of tara. her familiar face was a super swell surprise for me while i was in the cinema. she is on the left:

the asian pisses the fuck out of me. she was too cutesy, clingy and annoying. and in the picture above she looks possessed. the girl who plays ramona also pisses me off. i like ramona, but the actor is kind of butch. even in the picture above you can see her sticking her shoulders out to make her look thinner/bonier. and not so frickin butch. dyke.

Reason 4: Split screens

as seen below. nuff said.

Reason 5: fight scenes

michael cera being manly (well as manly as he can be) + flaming swords + nice clothes+ floating orb shit+ references to other things in pop culture = orgasm.

Reason 6: comic book/gaming-ness

it's good when a movie is close enough to the original book/story thing. but some stuff was left out. fuck two hour movie limits.

notice how in the cast collage, the ethnic people (asian chick, indian dude) are without their comic pictures. tsk tsk. how racist. also, i heart the swearing chick on the right. hilarity.

Reason 7: the amount of blue in this scene

i love the colour blue. it's no green. or purple. but it's probs my second favourite colour. (tied with purple) it looks good. the sky is blue. blue lollies are good. my fender strat guitar is blue :)

and now for something completely different (never gets old)

my best friend jenna and i are mirrored in many texts (oh fuck english). these include anything with michael cera:

and yes, i watched scott pilgrim with jenna. in the cinema i kept on going "oh fuck it's us"..."holy shit is that ninja dance machine thing a real game??!?! WE HAVE TO PLAY IT TOGETHER!"..."oh shit look. us. in a library together"

cardis, jumpers, hoodies, jeans, matching positions. we have the "michael cera plus one" married/smitten couple down pat.

juno: i am juno. jenna is bleeker/michael cera.

seriously everything or a significant amount fits every time. knives chau is asian and in uniform. i am asian and in uniform (holy shit...even right now). juno is sarcastic and fucking epic. i'm sarcastic and fucking epic. and jenna = michael cera. look at her eyeballing me from the far left.

our good buddy amelia also claims that we are kick ass and red mist.

i am kick ass cos i'm the ring leader and fucking awesome. his costume is fucking gay though. i would have done much better. fathering a child with a 40+ year old woman at 19 however, i would support. (the actor not the character).

and jenna is red mist. cos she drives and has a car. also cos the actor is fogel aka mclovin in superbad....HILARIOUS! although michael cera is in that movie. so she'll just have to double up there. and i'm the fat guy, seth. cos he's the ringleader. plus he gets the hottest chick. who isn't even that hot but oh well. he is also fat...

for harry potter doppler ganger week, i was cho chang. obviously cos she's asian and a chick. cho chang is a less hot and scottish accented version of me.

what a long fucking blog.

i shall end it with a picture that will blow your mind. in the maths corridor at my educational institution, i was walking across a few years ago looking for some adhesive materials when i stumbled across a whole collection of optical illusions hanging on the walls. "how. fucking. awesome." i thought. the artist is a flying dutchman. m.c. escher. (yeah i looked it up cos i knew if i said "oh yeah it's by some awesome dude but i forget his name"...some DOUCHEBAG would annoy me about it later...YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, FAGAL)

i like this one:

when i leave the horrid educational institution i am currently at, i may approach my maths teacher with a proposition. to get all the pictures off him. or i could just buy them myself elsewhere. either way i will own them all. plus jenna is making me a shirt of another picture.

so i'm cool.