ball games

marat safin.

golden god of tennis tantrums.

it's rumoured that he has broken over 700 tennis racquets in his career.

this is his funniest comment ever about the unfairness of calls

(referencing how umpires just call the ball out cos they want to sleep and are pressured by corporate businessmen who want the ratings. truly worth the 2:36 mins):

"of course, the guy, he is sitting with a tie, you know, smoking a cigar, he can be also with two chicks, but he has no clue about tennis"

the face he makes is the cherry on top. with his leg up and one eyebrow raised. pure gold.

novak djokovic.

tennis' funny guy who doesn't give a fuck.

how do you like me in a bathrobe?......now how do you like me in speedos?

this is his best comment ever:

"oh my god, it was like eh, i don't know, sleeping with my girlfriend i guess, kind of feeling"

oh yeah. just like that. with my head up and arms out, smiling in ecstasy.

27 seconds of pure bliss.

i (or my sister rainbow) can't make out what the interviewer says at the end though.

something about a ballsome game?

you can count me in, that's for sure

flying etiquette

i have this thing.

i can't sleep on planes.

(or any other type of public transport. except for trains/buses if i'm with someone i like)

this makes 16 hour plane rides quite fun as you can imagine.

it's not that i don't trust pilots. (yeah i totes took a sly shot of some just as i was about to board a plane to brisbane)

i just can't fall asleep. i can't normally anyway. but on planes it's like. ridiculous. i think it's cos i don't want people to touch me or my stuff when i'm unconscious. cos that would be weird. i also don't like taking off and landing. scary. i usually hold someone's hand.

i don't like it when people complain about their discomfort during flying....like, i can't sleep. at least you did. bitch.

plus this one time, i had to sit through 13 hours of this kid crying and kicking on my chair the whole entire time. why did i put up with it? cos they were asian. and i could hear the mum trying to calm him down and saying stuff like "you'll hurt the pretty girl in front of you". and when i turned around after about 7 hours, i saw that the kid was mentally disabled. he had blue eyes (not right for an asian) and a hearing aid i'm pretty sure. plus there was no way a kid would chuck such a bad and continuous tantrum. so i just closed my eyes and didn't think about it. rainbow (my sister) fell asleep on my shoulder and wouldn't stop complaining about the kid. and i was like "do you have a heart dude? are you frickin kidding me? i'm the one that is actually in the seat he is kicking and i'm not complaining. so grow a pair"

then the rest of the trip was lovely:

how cute is this little hispanic boy sitting on the suitcase conveyor belt thing waiting for his backpack:

bondi rescue on a plane? i love you qantas.

tetris on a plane? i love you aircalin. (yes, i got all the way to 99 999 999)

walking in semi rain to the airport? not so cool. but check out our braces! how cool are we. no, seriously, leela from futurama had braces. nuff said. i love us:

i totes have good flying etiquette.

bon voyage? piss off. (piss off yourself...wow just couldn't help myself but quote billy elliot. this is getting bad.)

MMM...goats?

disgusting animals.

goats cheese. the three billy goats gruff. goatee. fainting goats. men who stare at goats.

yeah they are equally interesting as they are boring.

but this is the funniest thing i have seen in a while.

a manboy going totally psycho over a goat climbing a ladder.

in a video game, no less.

it just keeps getting better. his comments. his laugh dying away. so. damn. good.

i usually hate teenage boy laughing. all testy pops and totally out of control. but fuck this guy is contagious. everything he says makes me feel pure joy.

another thing that induces pure joy? the song MMMBop by Hanson. childhood memories going haywire. the tacky video clip with the green screen. and all those damn flowers. and roller blading around town. good times.

but i always thought the only lyrics were "mmmbop".

how wrong i was.

You have so many relationships in this life

Only one or two will last

You go through all this pain and strife

Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast

And they're gone so fast

So hold on to the ones who really care

In the end they'll be the only ones there

When you get old and start losing your hair

Can you tell me who will still care?

Can you tell me who will still care?

Mmm bop, ba duba dop

Ba du bop, ba duba dop

Ba du bop, ba duba dop

Ba du

Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose

You can plant any one of those

Keep planting to find out which one grows

It's a secret no one knows

It's a secret no one knows

no one knows

In an mmm bop they're gone.

In an mmm bop they're not there.

In an mmm bop they're gone.

In an mmm bop they're not there.

Until you lose your hair. But you don't care.

Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.

Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?

Can you tell me if it's going to be a daisy or a rose?

Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?

Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.

that's right. rose is in there. several times. how special i feel right now. oh yes.

don't know about the losing hair line though. i hate baldness.

but still. pretty deep for a bunch of kids.

i could so go for some roller blading right now.

gaming

the best of times are spent with those you love...nah jokes. they are spent with games of course.

time zone may be quite limited...but it was sufficient. i kill at air hockey. the 7-4 win was so worth the pain i feel in my arm right now. my best friend refused to verse me, claiming that i hit the puck way too fast and hard. whatever...sissy.

i came third at car racing. i don't even have my l's. i was beaten by one holding their l's and one holding their...wait for it...p's. yes. asian drivers. the worst kinds. have managed...in this instance...to keep up with a p plate bearer. and i haven't read any of the driving manual yet.

we also played this weird japanese game. oh god they are the best kinds. it was like a shooting game but you had to throw those colourful balls from ball pools at the screen. it was touch screen...quite exhilarating. there was also pedals...which we just kept pressing cos we had no idea what they were for. we failed the first task but came back with A+++ in the second. that's right. triple plus. my fake lesbian lover and i stole an orange ball. she kept dropping it under games cos her jacket pocket was really shallow. but i came to the rescue like the false lesbian knight in shining armour i am and picked it up for her several times.

i can only think of one negative in gaming. all hard core gamers, if not asian, are emo asian wannabes and not attractive. should i ever be approached with the rare opportunity of meeting a hot normal gamer, i always get retarded and screw it up before i even meet them. it would be nice to share the gaming passion with more and more people, that aren't sickos with asian fetishes.