kanyemite

...let you finish

a year after the most awesome event ever happened (taylor swift almost dying), kanye west has made an epic apology on twitter that spans over like 9 full scrolls of the scroll bar thing (yeah i measured). it's quite fascinating really. he says absolutely everything on his mind. and eventually just ends with "i'm sorry taylor".

how the event unfolded (p.s. how epic is kanye's hair) (p.p.s. wtf is taylor swift wearing? a beanbag of sparkles?):

hey, imma gonna stop your c(o)unt-ry bullshit, kanye's got the house now

don't worry, imma gonna let you finish

but beyonce had the best video clip of ALL time

OF ALL TIME!

nuff said.

i love kanye. his best songs for me are gold digger, stronger and love lockdown (i had to do a dance to touch the sky in year 7. my partner was amy colla and we wore black and purple). i rap the alphabet with him on tuesdays. but he always seems to be stuck on the letter "a". fine examples can be seen here, and i also print screened the best moment cos i'm nice:

remember when kanye west and 50 cent had that mexican stand off during that award ceremony all those years ago. i just remember that there was a comment made like whoever sold the most albums/won the award in that year would continue making music. and the loser would die in a hole. i'm thinking 50 cent may have been the loser. the only song i know of his is "just a lil bit" not famous. oh i lie. i also know his tap drill song. good shit.

back to taylor swift: every time i look at her, a part of me dies. those plasticised curls actually make me feel physically ill. she is also more squintier than an asian. i'm glad kanye slayed her (ha, dragonslayer...go survivor). she obviously wasn't very good at accepting awards anyway. whiny crying, dropping them, trying to inhale them. kanye did what any kind person would do; prevent taylor from embarrassing herself.

wtf, taylor swift brunette?!?! oh dear god. she looks like a little boy. and strangely like nicholas hoult, who i had a massive crush on. he's the kid from about a boy, my favourite movie for a long time. then he was tony on skins. woot. skins seasons 1 and 2. holy shit i am actually getting rather disturbed by this. they could be identical twins. they have the same nose, eyes, lips, face and scary upturned eyebrows.

but back to rappers.

all this time, we have been looking for answers to the most hilariously weird shit that has been going on this past year. apparently joaquin phoenix losing it is actually a hoax. there is a documentary movie being released about his rapper life called "i'm still here: the lost year of joaquin pheonix". he has said that it's not an act and everyone should take his music seriously etc. but he also later said that it was all put on for the "mockumentary". he's either crazy as shit. or the most epic actor known to mankind. either way he should be called leaf pheonix again.

watch as the hair travels from his head, to his chin:

he was once normal you know. and hopefully, all this is a hoax and the normal guy will come back. one things for sure though, at the moment, it's all scary ass shit.

hey! kanye let me finish!

see, if you weren't such a c(o)unt-ry, taylor, you'd be rapping the alphabet with kanye and joaquin too.