tom

a tom makes all the difference.

i'm not talking green power ranger tommy tom.

i mean drum tom.

this year/last year there was a sudden surge of toms being played by non-drummers in bands. just to look "cool".

the first i saw of it was the ting tings. although there were probs many more before that in this current surge of it. and the chick from ting tings did the bass drum/tom drumming thing cos she had nothing to do, she only sung and at the beginning was learning guitar.

tom + sailor shirt = win

how do i measure success? if you get on yo gabba gabba, you've made it.

ever since emiliana torrini did that jungle drum song with a simile in the hookline ("my heart is beating like a jungle drum"), she got played on video hits and all these young new teeny boppers ruined her concert for the original fans.

tom + the weird tribal beat boxing thing she does = win

why is indie the new trend. do you fuckers even know what indie stands for? independent = not conforming. what you're doing, it's not indie. i will accept hipster as your label. original indie kids now have to leave their pretty florals, long quirky necklaces, high shorts and vintage clothes and resort to tribal/rustic/other outlandish themed things to be indie:

enter grizzly bear. boy and bear. and all the other bears.

i commend myself for finding such great photos of these bands where they are dressed almost exactly the same. check out the one guy in glasses. and the one guy in a flannel shirt. and one guy in a button up blue shirt. schpooky.

last night, i played above the oxford hotel. and all the bands (but mine mwahahaha. the fat lesbian dyke sound lady said we were the best band of the night by far cos we were actually unique. fuck yeah) sounded and looked exactly the same. bearded, collar shirted or sloppy jumpered, rayban wearing, scarved, necklaced, extremey thin men. and high waisted shorts, skirts, vintage stuff on the girls, nothing ever above the knees.

but the sound was the worst. grizzly bear/boy and bear all over again. ethereal choral vocals of long woo's. extreme changes in structure. small percussion like tambourines and shakers. acoustic guitar with youthful bearded man. basically everywhere i turn, it's grizzly bear. but they all used the damn toms. like it's super fun. sure. i play them with my best friend jenna and my sister rainbow all the time. but if every single fucking band has a tom break down in every fucking song just cos it's the fad right now, fucking leave man. we already have the bears. i want some variety. gimme some trumpets. fuck they are awesome.

tom + the other five bands from last night = fail

percussion gun by the white rabbits. one deceptively simple drumbeat on the tom repeated over and over. so effective. radiohead like chords and singing. video clip is pretty cool. it's all spinny and lighty. so fun to try and play this beat. and it's like. two people on one tom. mindfuck.

tom + mindfuck + spinning = win

lost valentinos also have an awesome song/video clip. serio. they play toms all over like the hills and the forest and in a lake. it's fair epic. and they have like coloured dust, glitter (and wet stuff like water and paint i'm pretty sure) on the toms. so when they hit it, they fly everywhere. it's so cool. and the camera is on like super macro so you see everything. it's like looking at matt muir's eyes: "it was like the first time i heard the beatles". they even have super awesome nice photos of the making of it.

tom + flying craft = win

i love love love love love vampire weekend. seriously, they are sooo good. and a-punk was the first song i heard/saw of theirs. it's so awesome. one take. shitload of different shit (what's with the epic superbad quoting today) happening in each frame. their clothes change, crafty stuff also happens in an under the sea type sequence. but the coolest thing is the choreographed tom playing. two guys, two toms, benny hill type fast movements. so good.

tom + choreographed benny hill = win

i love toms in songs. but the overkill of pretentious fuckers trying to copy with nothing new and original to add at the moment are like *shoots self in head*

oh look, a hot sailor

remember this: make a wish tom, make a wish

ball games

marat safin.

golden god of tennis tantrums.

it's rumoured that he has broken over 700 tennis racquets in his career.

this is his funniest comment ever about the unfairness of calls

(referencing how umpires just call the ball out cos they want to sleep and are pressured by corporate businessmen who want the ratings. truly worth the 2:36 mins):

"of course, the guy, he is sitting with a tie, you know, smoking a cigar, he can be also with two chicks, but he has no clue about tennis"

the face he makes is the cherry on top. with his leg up and one eyebrow raised. pure gold.

novak djokovic.

tennis' funny guy who doesn't give a fuck.

how do you like me in a bathrobe?......now how do you like me in speedos?

this is his best comment ever:

"oh my god, it was like eh, i don't know, sleeping with my girlfriend i guess, kind of feeling"

oh yeah. just like that. with my head up and arms out, smiling in ecstasy.

27 seconds of pure bliss.

i (or my sister rainbow) can't make out what the interviewer says at the end though.

something about a ballsome game?

you can count me in, that's for sure

blow job

guy sebastian gets head.

multiple times.

"then they walked into the audition room and blew me again there"

the moment of realisation in four stages:

the inhale of denial

the look down of acceptance

the double facepalm of shame

the hand grasp of embarrassment

and it doesn't stop there.

his song/album titles gave me sweet sweet ammo.

he begins with learning the art of love:

then brings her to the elevator:

next he coaches her through it:

until he is:

when it's all over, he's walking on memphis:

now we all finally know the faces behind "angels brought me here"

mahogany

like a distant whisper in mrs krappabel's ear

*angels gave me head

car-aoke

last night. i was watching a film, as i recall it was a horror film....

oh wait, wrong train of thought.

last night. when my sister and i drove home. we burst into song.

old school justin

+

human nature

+

britney

=

a 90's medley of sex.

human nature (whoa topless):

i don't know what's better. the main singer's hair that mirrors one of the umbilical brothers...or the fact that some members of this band could be the father of other members of this band.

the best song that we always sang in the car as children...was wishes

justin:

back when he was justified. with lots and lots of cheese for hair. the whole first album is pretty much the shizz. senorita, the hold my jacket song....um...like i love you, totes michael jackson's and cry me a river. the extreme high pitched chipmunk falsetto licks are the funnest parts to sing. also the low bits with high bits. eg. end of senorita and timbaland in cry me a river.

it's britney bitch:

classic 90's hair. mega slut strand fest. and a serious cameltoe to match. jesus christ that cameltoe is bad. how can it even go that high? anyway. hit me baby one more time is the best to sing. it's just the way she goes "oh babeh babeh". classic.

i'm glad we didn't crash.

i got an email

my lovely friend nicole always emails me random crap to entertain me.

trailers, pictures, things i am/we are both interested in.

it's wonderful.

but the best thing she has ever sent me

(except maybe the trailer for the movie flipped which btw i watched just now and i realised that i have never actually listened to the dialogue in it and only the sweet 50's music. she also sent me this picture which took her apparently forever to pause the trailer to get)

arrived (came?) this morning (that was the biggest tangent ever):

"maybe a reason for you to buy the dvd"

ps. nicole i was always going to buy the dvd. but this is for the box set - meaning the six comic books. graphic novels. there is only one movie you see. but a poster with it.....god.....makes it so much sweeter. and i must get it.

what is this doing in my pictures?

oh i remember now....a friend sent this to me when we were making a "famous faces" sheet for a trivia night. which i didn't win :O i blame the lack of asians on my team.

now my sister, ben ten and me are watching john safran's race relations.

he is a sick sick man.

i did quite like music jamboree though.