pro: crastination

here's a pro: doing stuff well

here's a con: it takes a lot of effort

here's a pro: you pick up your instrument to practice

here's a con: the alarming pain in your wrist from rsi makes you procrastinate

here's a pro: you open up google and start researching

here's a con: you start distracting yourself...possibly with youtube or music hunting

here's a pro: you sit on the couch/bed to read

here's a con: you're exhausted from anemia, insomnia and watching the world cup...and pass out

story of my life.

however, i always get things done anyway cos i have a black belt in awesome. i make the impossible...POSSIMPLEBLE. (thank you barney stinson)

just as reliable as phillip lahm...ah yes.

music theory

doing the theory for music exams may well be one of the most torturous and blandest tasks you could ever have to do. like chewing sawdust.

sure i am very interested in music, all the history, styles and techniques. but when you have a massive load of it to do, it is...quite frankly...death. think of all the frickin repertoire. now for every piece, you have to go through and find, learn and memorise all the theory.

you could say

i can't handle handel.

i don't want you bach. (but i do want michael jackson back)

i wanna play miriam hyde and seek but without the seek.

i say you should telemann to go already.

and all for a piece of paper with different grades of music qualifications...

exams...end!

forgiveness please

friends. you know who you are.

this is my apology, no? age is just a number...you fool around how you want. and i'll join even you.

i wasn't trying to offend you...did steve tell you that perchance?

.....

oh and i am a lesbian...happy?

( i am no homophobe...do not take the insult to heart)

eye sea you

webcams. they are funny things.

they make a computer screen turn into a person. transformers? perhaps without the epic weaponry.

it's fun to watch friends doing absolutely stupid things they should not be doing at this time in life though. for example, dressing up as lady gaga and dancing for two hours straight, playing with various video effects that make them look either pregnant or fat and even able to breathe fire.

playing charades on webcam is also great fun. however, one game that wasn't so fun was a staring competition. staring at the computer without blinking already kind of blinds you. team that with a cruel friend who freezes their webcam on a fixed image of them with the biggest eyes possible makes for a very frustrating evening.

nevertheless, webcams always bring good fun and i shall continue the usage of them

i win

even without michael ballack (number 4 here), philipp lahm (number 1 here) led the german team to sweet victory 4-0. the soccerwhos remain stupid losers. oh well that's quite harsh, but really, the german team kicks ass.

4-0?!??! that's a ridiculous score for the world cup. miroslav klose, the amazing striker. thank god he doesn't play for poland (he is of polish descent). the australian team....oh man. and tim cahill got sent off with a red card. tsk tsk tsk. fail.

why the german team? they look absolutely hot in their matching adidas gear. love it love it love it. and pretty awesome colours too. black, white, red and yellow. manly, passionate and optimistic.

when the german team got eliminated last world cup, i cried. that's amazing cos i don't cry...ever. no really, i'm chuck norris. but this time round, i really think they would have a good chance of winning (like they always do aha). they deserve to win. they have the skill. they have the players. and all that's left to win the world cup, is a bit of luck.

it's business time

brett vs jemaine: battle of the kiwis

i luuuurrvveee flight of the conchords. i own both seasons of the conch on dvd.

it's good cos with only two seasons, i won't get bored of it.

(AHEM: how i met your mother....will you please tell me how you met the darn mother already? too many back stories = as bad as lost)

now most of my friends and my sister prefer the j-dog (to the left on bass). but i like the b-unit (to the right with the bear). it's all in the bruce willis vests and the knitted jumpers with animals on them. i would never touch him in real life, but i prefer his character.

jemaine says:

it's wednesday night, it's when everything's alright.

there's nothing good on tv, you're not too tired from your after work social netball team practice. mmm...conditions are perfect.

you're wearing that same baggy old ugly t-shirt you got from your work several years ago.

you know the one baby with the colour stained.

team building exercise ninety nine!!

i remove my clothes very very clumsily, tripping sensuously over my pants.

now i'm naked except for my socks.

and you know when i'm down to just my socks what time it is.

it's business time.

that's why they're called business socks...

and the rest

brett says:

oh my god, she's so hot. she's so flippin' hot, she's like a curry.

i wanna tell her how hot she is, but she'll think i'm being sexist.

she's so hot, she's making me sexist...bitch.

i need my nineteen eighty seven DG twenty casio electric guitar.

set to mandolin yeah, drop the drums.

let me buy you a boom boom, you order a fancy boom.

i like boom, you like boom, enough small boom, let's boom the boom-ah

now we're rolling on a boom boom, riding to my private boom.

do we know what's happening, we both assume.

we're gonna boom boom boom 'til the break of boom.

and more

brett also says:

let's make two life-size cardboard cut outs of our bodies, and pose them into sensual positions.

i flip some clips on my lips, i clip some chips to your hips, i nibble chips off your hips

and watch the moon eclipse.

and on and on

they are both pretty awesome. making the two of them together doubly awesome. but...i still prefer brett. he is not as sleazy...too bad he's boring though. but, he did play a hot elf extra nicknamed figwit in lord of the rings (stands for Frodo Is Great! Who Is That?!?!)

business hours are over baby.

sweet tooth...

today i saw the most repulsive/ infuriating/ perplexing thing on the train.

a balding man in his late 30's boards the train armed with a suitcase and two green enviro bags chock a block full of sweets. he sits opposite me, taking off his black trenchcoat to reveal a red flannel shirt. "that's ok"...i thought..."perhaps he has children and is planning a party for them"...

he puts down his black umbrella and stretches to reveal his black fanny pack around his overflowing waist (no doubt filled with candy too). with a sigh, he has finally settled and proceeds to forage through his treasures. "oh dear"...."i was wrong"

he pulls out a 1.25L bottle of coke. sculls it down in less than a minute and drops it on the floor. *crush crush crush* thirteen stomps later, i realised why he is wearing sturdy black wellington boots. he makes a small crevice in one of the green enviro bags and shoves the flattened plastic in. bottle after bottle, he repeats the process. my ears suffered the most agonising sound they have ever heard. he must've finished five by my count.

but no, he is not done yet. he stretches once more, pushing his hands down his pants. "wtf"...i hesitate..."oh please god no"

thankfully i am relieved. he is only pulling out three more bags of candy. one bag of snakes. one bag of gummi bears. and a mixed bag of fruit chews. he snacks, nay feasts, on these.

alas, it is my stop. i get off, peeking into his other enviro bag and suitcase. "more candy....more fizzy drinks...enough to feed fifty five year olds for several months"

it is beyond me how he could consume that amount of sugar in half an hour, or how he could drink so much sugary liquid and not need the bathroom. and who knows how much he had consumed before and after i had seen him.

one thing is for sure though, i am equally disgusted as i am amused and fascinated.

chuck norris...prepare to meet your match

so...i am aware of the greatness of chuck norris. i know from my childhood (circa: 4 years old) that he is so menacing, his show walker was only allowed to be played at 3am.

chuck norris never sleeps. he waits.

chuck norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

chuck norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.

chuck norris can round-house kick you in the face faster than the speed of light. this means when you turn your light off to go to bed at night, you're dead before it gets dark.

oh yes. you better believe it. and i, archer, shall defeat him in greatness. it may take all my life to get to that stage. but hell, i will get there.

here is a link to the top 50 chuck norris facts

another funny link to a site that definitely cheered me up with good "walks into a bar jokes" (no seriously, grade A material, first class, top notch) and also a page of chuck norris facts.

jane is such a pain

again, i have to suffer the boring words of jane austen; the next installment being pride and prejudice.

ok i understand, she is skillful. her novels are well thought out. coming of age, developing kind characteristics, dissolving class distinctions, etc ,etc. however, has one stopped to think when they were entertained by emma at all? besides the rare moments when miss bates won't shut up, which are actually quite annoying, nothing jane austen does seems to please me.

it's tedious writing. annoying like a pretentious arty farty who just won't fuck off.

there is a particular girl i see around all the time. she will do anything to fit in with the label of "indie". i don't think she understands that by aiming to be "indie" she is becoming precisely the opposite. not independent but a sheep. baaaaaa.

but back to my original point.

jane. you are a pain.

you make me feel a la:

oh no she didn't

Follow my blog with bloglovin

do it. you know you want to. or the hilarious posts of random hotties and notties will end. nah not really, i do this for my own enjoyment muahahaha.

i do stick to the arts, but mostly the hilarious/boring/annoying stuff. entertainment gold. particularly eurovision.

THE WORLD CUP IS ONLY A WEEK AWAY EVERYONE!!!!

GET EXCITED! my grandmother is south african. wooot!