EUROVISION!

so i am thoroughly entertained by eurovision more so this year than any other year.

firstly, germany's lena is definitely the worthy winner. i loved her performance and bjork-like accent. probably wouldn't be friends with her in real life cos i would kill her from annoyance but nevertheless, surprisingly good. watch it: super catchy.

then, i shall say, it is very sad for spain. that dickhead that jumped onto the stage and sabotaged their performance should be penalised. you could tell the singer was passionate about making a fool of himself. let him do it in peace i say! (you can see the disappointment on the front clown's face...urgh i hate clowns...and pink is such a sissy colour)

turkey. how could you? the song was alright. but the way you defaced my beloved red tyrannosaurus rex power rangers helmet was not on. and you also put it on a girl? a stupid blonde bimbo dancer no less? spray painting it silver and adding other shitty robot gadgets wasn't enough for you? and all those flashing lights surely gave someone an epileptic fit. watch it here.

next up, and this is truly the highlight: milan stankovic of serbia. he sure did stank. very much so. imitation asian woman, tank top wearing, staightened with ghd blonde hair sporting freak. no words can describe this atrocity to justice. i shall leave links and pics. (he needs a woman to make him look manly)

outraged asian fans complaining about the way he copies the asian style:

funny arguments

milan's stupid (gay, asian lady wannabe) reply

and the piece de resistance. the actual clip of his performance

babyface, you've got the cutest little babyface: 2nd edition

this is the edition where i say "well they are too young and they are too old". cos the first guy is a sick wacko. in no particular order:

1. Aaron Johnson (actor) - 19

this guy is going to be a father. mm...nothing wrong with that right? think again. he is making babies with the director of nowhere boy (the movie i mentioned in the previous babyface blog in which he plays a young john lennon), Sam Taylor-Wood who is 43. she was making conceptual artworks of naked men humping her leg before he was even born. i know age is just a number...but there is also the wrong factor of her being his boss. urgh.

2. Justin Bieber (singer and gaybo) - 16

oh but i went there. check out this guy trying to be cool. i must admit he has a nice physique. and a cool sarcastic arrogant charm. but it doesn't stop him from being gay. especially when he does that weird heart thing with his hands. douche. get rid of the ray bans. they belong to me and buddy holly. what is that thing you are holding?!?! and i know that's your mum.

3. Skandar Keynes (actor) - 18

oh finally. a boy worthy of hype. this guy is highly underrated. i loved him when i was young. i had a huge folder of pictures compiled of him. and i still think he is pretty fine now. i like a guy with a sword and a good torch. cos i am afraid of the dark (alas now you know). and i never tried turkish delight until i watched narnia. it is a delicious delicacy indeed. can't wait for the next movie.

well, i am too young, and they are too old: 5th edition

so i'll try to make this the last one...unless i get more suggestions...again.

in no particular order:

1. Alex Kapranos (Franz Ferdinand) - 38

hot hot hot. and to think he used to be the bassist of the 1990's. still a good band but he deserves to be the front man.

2. Danny Goffey (Supergrass) - 36

i can not believe this guy is younger than alex kapranos. but he's alright

3. Nick McCarthy (Franz Ferdinand) - 35

there's always a mysterious factor about quiet guitarists...

4. Noel Fielding (comedian) - 37

this guy actually brags about being around celebrities. i wonder if he'll ever brag about being one himself?

Foreign Edition:

the hot men of foreign films. they make you melt when they appear on the screen. then when they start talking in...whatever it is that they speak...you turn to dust.

1. Gael Garcia Benal (actor) - 31

multi-lingual. played che guevara. enough said.

2. Ken Duken (actor) - 31

german. this guy is in a sick film called "whatever" but in german...he runs over someone at the start. and gets run over at the end. i used to be obsessed with germany. i still like the place a lot. and practice my german occasionally. but my obsession lies with sweden now.

3. Daniel Bruhl (actor) - 31

i blogged a few times ago about a film called The Edukators. this guy is in it. i hear he speaks like a million languages. when he is not busy being fat he is a fine one indeed.

4. Gaspard Ulliel (actor) - 25

this guy is a god. seriously so good looking it hurts. he has a scar from being attacked by a dog when he was a kid. but now it looks like a hot dimple.

5. Marc-Andre Grondin (actor) - 26

this guy looks exactly like the guy just above. and they both speak french. i watched this insane movie with him in it called C.R.A.Z.Y. i loved it cos it was set in the sixties. and i love the sixties. and i also thought he was the guy above...but i was pleased when i realised otherwise. cos that means there is another beautiful person in the world.

FIFA Fever!!!

the world cup is getting closer and closer...just one more addition to the hot footballer list

1. Alberto Gilardino - 27

italiano. you play that fiddle. my italian learning friends tell me that the most disgusting word they have learnt so far is cancro which means cancer. it's pretty random.

Honourable Mentions (but he's dead now/back in the day)

1. John William Baldry aka Long John Baldry (blues singer) - 64 when he died. he'd be 69 today

turned out to be gay. what a shame for us girls. but a delight for men. watch him get his mojo working with the beatles, the greatest band ever.

2. Jame Marcus Smith aka PJ Proby (total Elvis impersonator) - 71

nevertheless still a charmer...back in the day though.

the greatest stories ever told

are robin hood and those of greek mythology.

the current bbc series of robin hood is an ok adaptation. i must admit though, i do not like lady marian...she just appeared out of nowhere to please audiences. robin hood never needed a woman in the original version of the legend. at least not just one anyway XD

and plus robin longstride arches, and wears hoods...just like me!

greek mythology...a billion stories woven together. with fantastical creatures and epic adventures. makes for great movies. and excellent plays. i recommend medea. this psycho bitch kills her own kids. i like that.

but back to the arts

hot men...leave the page now.

enter jane austen. yes...i went there.

now that you are here austen, i finally have the chance to tell you what i think of you.

you. are. boring. me. out. of. my. mind.

i am currently reading emma.

humour, rhetorical balance, satire....whatever. i see that your work is classic, cleverly weaved and symmetrical in writing. but, you repeat the same thing about a million times on one page.

exhibit A: "No, indeed - we are not at all in a bad air. Our part of London is so very superior to most others! - You must not confound us with London in general, my dear sir. The neighbourhood of Brunswick Square is very different from almost all the rest. We are so very airy! I should be unwilling, I own, to live in any other part of the town; - there is hardly any other that i could be satisfied to have my children in: - but we are so remarkably airy! - Mr Wingfield thinks the vicinity of Brunswick Square decidedly the most favourable as to air."

oh really isabella woodhouse? is that what your doctor thinks? i wouldn't have guessed it or believed you unless you said it ten thousand times...so lucky you did huh?! you are just as annoying as your stupid sister emma.

pedantic writing...is a pet hate of mine. so...as i have finished your book, as soon as i am done with studying you...i will discard your book to sleep with the fishes and never touch it again.

but then again, i have never re-read a book ever.

well, i am too young, and they are too old: 4th edition

i must find another topic to blog on...but for now...my mind is only swirling into world of hot men. i admit, when writing my initial list, i got carried away. and the horror of leaving someone out is the only thing i can use as my excuse for continuing. plus i love quoting the strokes. so in no particular order:

1. Jim Parsons (actor) - 37

he does kind of look like a serial killer. that or a pedo. he is sheldon off big bang. the heart of the show. leonard equals the death.

2. James Franco (actor) - 32

only cos he looks like james dean. and is in spiderman.

3. Jake Gyllenhaal (actor) - 29

looks hilarious in the prince of persia movie. though i love greek mythology. and is super fine in october sky (buddy holly reference in it...plus i'm a sucker for southern accents), donnie darko and bubble boy

4. Jake Weber (actor) - 46
everyone has a thing for hot dads. check out this dilf from medium.

5. Justin Long (actor) - 31

i always thought this guy was a little kid. but no. he has always been old. a bit like keanu reeves huh?

6. Cillian Murphy (actor) - 33

so evil. so gorgeous.

7. Benjamin McKenzie (actor) - 31

i would never have guessed that ryan from the oc is this old now. that is just weird.

8. David Tennant (actor) - 39

freaky. creepy. demented. i like it.

9. Christopher Gorham (actor) - 35

i liked him in jake 2.0 but it got axed. now he is the loser guy in ugly betty. but still hot.

10. Matthew Gray Gubler (actor) - 30

gubler? what a terrible last name. i don't even know how to pronounce it. this guy isn't exactly hot...but he is supposed to be geeky chic in that terrible show criminal minds. it's a total rip off of numbers, csi, 24 and pretty much all crime shows mixed together.

11. Giovanni Ribisi (actor) - 35

this guy is fucked up.

12. Jonas Armstrong (actor and balding) - 29

robin hooooooood. i love the legend. but the bbc adaptation has totally screwed with it. but it doesn't matter cos he is hot. and i found naked pics of him in some torture movie thing.

13. Matt Damon (actor) - 39

haha. his middle name is paige. aww cute. especially in stuck on you

14. Michael Vartan (actor) - 41

again another father figure. hot hot hot. watch alias and never been kissed

15. Milo Ventimiglia (actor) - 32

since the first time he said "i think i can fly" on heroes, he has been hot to trot. demented mouth though. lol at the fed ex truck in the background of this photo

Honourable Mentions (but he's dead now/that's just weird/sick)

1. James Dean (actor) - 24 when he died. he would have been 79 today

watch rebel without a cause. you will melt.

2. Patrick Kake (actor and centaur) - 54

weirdly when i watched narnia for the first time...i fell for edmund of course and then strangely i realised the centaur made me feel really safe. this guy plays oreius, the centaur that is 2nd in command of aslan's army. his age was fucking hard to track down. clearly someone doesn't want to admit to aging.