tom

a tom makes all the difference.

i'm not talking green power ranger tommy tom.

i mean drum tom.

this year/last year there was a sudden surge of toms being played by non-drummers in bands. just to look "cool".

the first i saw of it was the ting tings. although there were probs many more before that in this current surge of it. and the chick from ting tings did the bass drum/tom drumming thing cos she had nothing to do, she only sung and at the beginning was learning guitar.

tom + sailor shirt = win

how do i measure success? if you get on yo gabba gabba, you've made it.

ever since emiliana torrini did that jungle drum song with a simile in the hookline ("my heart is beating like a jungle drum"), she got played on video hits and all these young new teeny boppers ruined her concert for the original fans.

tom + the weird tribal beat boxing thing she does = win

why is indie the new trend. do you fuckers even know what indie stands for? independent = not conforming. what you're doing, it's not indie. i will accept hipster as your label. original indie kids now have to leave their pretty florals, long quirky necklaces, high shorts and vintage clothes and resort to tribal/rustic/other outlandish themed things to be indie:

enter grizzly bear. boy and bear. and all the other bears.

i commend myself for finding such great photos of these bands where they are dressed almost exactly the same. check out the one guy in glasses. and the one guy in a flannel shirt. and one guy in a button up blue shirt. schpooky.

last night, i played above the oxford hotel. and all the bands (but mine mwahahaha. the fat lesbian dyke sound lady said we were the best band of the night by far cos we were actually unique. fuck yeah) sounded and looked exactly the same. bearded, collar shirted or sloppy jumpered, rayban wearing, scarved, necklaced, extremey thin men. and high waisted shorts, skirts, vintage stuff on the girls, nothing ever above the knees.

but the sound was the worst. grizzly bear/boy and bear all over again. ethereal choral vocals of long woo's. extreme changes in structure. small percussion like tambourines and shakers. acoustic guitar with youthful bearded man. basically everywhere i turn, it's grizzly bear. but they all used the damn toms. like it's super fun. sure. i play them with my best friend jenna and my sister rainbow all the time. but if every single fucking band has a tom break down in every fucking song just cos it's the fad right now, fucking leave man. we already have the bears. i want some variety. gimme some trumpets. fuck they are awesome.

tom + the other five bands from last night = fail

percussion gun by the white rabbits. one deceptively simple drumbeat on the tom repeated over and over. so effective. radiohead like chords and singing. video clip is pretty cool. it's all spinny and lighty. so fun to try and play this beat. and it's like. two people on one tom. mindfuck.

tom + mindfuck + spinning = win

lost valentinos also have an awesome song/video clip. serio. they play toms all over like the hills and the forest and in a lake. it's fair epic. and they have like coloured dust, glitter (and wet stuff like water and paint i'm pretty sure) on the toms. so when they hit it, they fly everywhere. it's so cool. and the camera is on like super macro so you see everything. it's like looking at matt muir's eyes: "it was like the first time i heard the beatles". they even have super awesome nice photos of the making of it.

tom + flying craft = win

i love love love love love vampire weekend. seriously, they are sooo good. and a-punk was the first song i heard/saw of theirs. it's so awesome. one take. shitload of different shit (what's with the epic superbad quoting today) happening in each frame. their clothes change, crafty stuff also happens in an under the sea type sequence. but the coolest thing is the choreographed tom playing. two guys, two toms, benny hill type fast movements. so good.

tom + choreographed benny hill = win

i love toms in songs. but the overkill of pretentious fuckers trying to copy with nothing new and original to add at the moment are like *shoots self in head*

oh look, a hot sailor

remember this: make a wish tom, make a wish

MMM...goats?

disgusting animals.

goats cheese. the three billy goats gruff. goatee. fainting goats. men who stare at goats.

yeah they are equally interesting as they are boring.

but this is the funniest thing i have seen in a while.

a manboy going totally psycho over a goat climbing a ladder.

in a video game, no less.

it just keeps getting better. his comments. his laugh dying away. so. damn. good.

i usually hate teenage boy laughing. all testy pops and totally out of control. but fuck this guy is contagious. everything he says makes me feel pure joy.

another thing that induces pure joy? the song MMMBop by Hanson. childhood memories going haywire. the tacky video clip with the green screen. and all those damn flowers. and roller blading around town. good times.

but i always thought the only lyrics were "mmmbop".

how wrong i was.

You have so many relationships in this life

Only one or two will last

You go through all this pain and strife

Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast

And they're gone so fast

So hold on to the ones who really care

In the end they'll be the only ones there

When you get old and start losing your hair

Can you tell me who will still care?

Can you tell me who will still care?

Mmm bop, ba duba dop

Ba du bop, ba duba dop

Ba du bop, ba duba dop

Ba du

Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose

You can plant any one of those

Keep planting to find out which one grows

It's a secret no one knows

It's a secret no one knows

no one knows

In an mmm bop they're gone.

In an mmm bop they're not there.

In an mmm bop they're gone.

In an mmm bop they're not there.

Until you lose your hair. But you don't care.

Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.

Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?

Can you tell me if it's going to be a daisy or a rose?

Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?

Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.

that's right. rose is in there. several times. how special i feel right now. oh yes.

don't know about the losing hair line though. i hate baldness.

but still. pretty deep for a bunch of kids.

i could so go for some roller blading right now.

music theory

doing the theory for music exams may well be one of the most torturous and blandest tasks you could ever have to do. like chewing sawdust.

sure i am very interested in music, all the history, styles and techniques. but when you have a massive load of it to do, it is...quite frankly...death. think of all the frickin repertoire. now for every piece, you have to go through and find, learn and memorise all the theory.

you could say

i can't handle handel.

i don't want you bach. (but i do want michael jackson back)

i wanna play miriam hyde and seek but without the seek.

i say you should telemann to go already.

and all for a piece of paper with different grades of music qualifications...

exams...end!

crack hoes and light rights

Black holes and bright lights? A mash of black holes and revelations and the political, inspirational music that is "so hot right now". Placebo have possibly ruined Muse (Lord have mercy on their innocent souls) and mustered the annoying "charitable" hype of U2 and Coldplay (if they were really helping they'd fucking get off their cashmere sofas and build a well or a school; create lasting relationships you know? Not just throw money everywhere).
My point is, Placebo are not even trying to hide their plagiarism, not even in their clip either...apart from the song's title - the suits they wear, the "profound" scenery in the background and the repetitive chorus-like chant draw parallels with Muse's fashion, U2's arty clip for "Magnificent" (the way they exploited that town - Fez, Morocco - was so not magnificent, neither is Bono's hair, glasses or weird movements) and Coldplay's sing-a-long anthem "Viva La Vida".

Oh god, there's no stopping this author now, I am officially on a rant. Lisa Mitchell...fuck off. I don't need another awkward, boring, "indie" little girl who twitches like a crack whore and sings so softly i can't even hear you, even if i use one of Fred and George's extendable ears. You couldn't walk straight and upright to save your life (hey...like Faker's Nathan Hudson?! But he's gay ladies...unfortunately). But...they have cracked the market and i'm sitting on my ass, so who am i to complain?

On another note, right now, i'm liking the song "song for aberdeen" by Mando Diao, the clip "Parlez-vous français" by Art Vs Science, the album "Hot Fuss" by The Killers (perfect from start to finish) and the band Passion Pit.

Real musicians who make real music.