blow job

guy sebastian gets head.

multiple times.

"then they walked into the audition room and blew me again there"

the moment of realisation in four stages:

the inhale of denial

the look down of acceptance

the double facepalm of shame

the hand grasp of embarrassment

and it doesn't stop there.

his song/album titles gave me sweet sweet ammo.

he begins with learning the art of love:

then brings her to the elevator:

next he coaches her through it:

until he is:

when it's all over, he's walking on memphis:

now we all finally know the faces behind "angels brought me here"

mahogany

like a distant whisper in mrs krappabel's ear

*angels gave me head

epiphany

another reason why i am god:

causing epiphanies in others

rose says:

bahaha

ok maybe shoes

but how many pairs do you have atm

milly - capture the dream says:

uhh probs bout 14

but not enough heels

also the rockstar just rubbed kiwi fruit on himself

i think an attempt of seductivity

rose says:

14

!?!?!

WTF

THAT'S CRAZY

milly - capture the dream says:

?

rose says:

stop amelia

milly - capture the dream says:

but

rose says:

haha

milly - capture the dream says:

heels

rose says:

that's funny

milly - capture the dream says:

and boots

rose says:

no buts

milly - capture the dream says:

but but but

:(

heeeeellsss

how many pairs do u have them

rose says:

like 7 maybe

10

milly - capture the dream says:

WHAT

thats not enough

rose says:

i have two pairs of thongs

like four converse

adidas

nikes

flats

keds

milly - capture the dream says:

also why is it that people say a pair of underwear. cause theres only one

rose says:

volleys

ugs

that' 12 so far

milly - capture the dream says:

otay

rose says:

oh shit

i also have pixie

and heels

milly - capture the dream says:

see i dont have that many

rose says:

so 14

milly - capture the dream says:

yeah

rose says:

lol

haha

ok

milly - capture the dream says:

normal

rose says:

yeah i ahve more as well

ok normal

milly - capture the dream says:

yeah

u never answered my queston

rose says:

what was the questoin

i read it

it's cos you have two legs

notice

that anything that has two sleeves

for each of your legs

has plural

eg

pants

underwear

trackies

etc

but skirt is one

cos there is only one sleeve

for both legs

i am god

milly - capture the dream says:

but u have two arms and u dont say a pair of tshirts

rose says:

yeah

cos it goes on your torso

and you only have one torso

you get?

milly - capture the dream says:

o

ok then

warning:

too much time with me may enlighten you so much

that you will begin floating (wing guardium leviosar).

that is why one of my alter egos is peter pan (fuck tinkerbell i can go it alone)

superheroes

yeah spies and secret agents are pretty cool. but superheroes are better.

i like batman the best. cos he doesn't actually have superpowers. he is just fucking epic.

which leads me to this:

scott pilgrim vs the world has now come on par if not beaten inception.

notice how many times the word "epic" is on that poster.

is any dipshit still asking why?

Reason 1: Michael Cera

the scout kid off my best friend's an alien. hot. awesome clothes. not nice topless though. a bit gay. also has a oversized nose. the clothes and hair compensate though.

Reason 2: Kieran Culkin

little brother of macaulay culkin. his age is 27. 27 is a fine number indeed. he plays a gay. need i say more?

Reason 3: Brie Larson

she plays katie in united states of tara. her familiar face was a super swell surprise for me while i was in the cinema. she is on the left:

the asian pisses the fuck out of me. she was too cutesy, clingy and annoying. and in the picture above she looks possessed. the girl who plays ramona also pisses me off. i like ramona, but the actor is kind of butch. even in the picture above you can see her sticking her shoulders out to make her look thinner/bonier. and not so frickin butch. dyke.

Reason 4: Split screens

as seen below. nuff said.

Reason 5: fight scenes

michael cera being manly (well as manly as he can be) + flaming swords + nice clothes+ floating orb shit+ references to other things in pop culture = orgasm.

Reason 6: comic book/gaming-ness

it's good when a movie is close enough to the original book/story thing. but some stuff was left out. fuck two hour movie limits.

notice how in the cast collage, the ethnic people (asian chick, indian dude) are without their comic pictures. tsk tsk. how racist. also, i heart the swearing chick on the right. hilarity.

Reason 7: the amount of blue in this scene

i love the colour blue. it's no green. or purple. but it's probs my second favourite colour. (tied with purple) it looks good. the sky is blue. blue lollies are good. my fender strat guitar is blue :)

and now for something completely different (never gets old)

my best friend jenna and i are mirrored in many texts (oh fuck english). these include anything with michael cera:

and yes, i watched scott pilgrim with jenna. in the cinema i kept on going "oh fuck it's us"..."holy shit is that ninja dance machine thing a real game??!?! WE HAVE TO PLAY IT TOGETHER!"..."oh shit look. us. in a library together"

cardis, jumpers, hoodies, jeans, matching positions. we have the "michael cera plus one" married/smitten couple down pat.

juno: i am juno. jenna is bleeker/michael cera.

seriously everything or a significant amount fits every time. knives chau is asian and in uniform. i am asian and in uniform (holy shit...even right now). juno is sarcastic and fucking epic. i'm sarcastic and fucking epic. and jenna = michael cera. look at her eyeballing me from the far left.

our good buddy amelia also claims that we are kick ass and red mist.

i am kick ass cos i'm the ring leader and fucking awesome. his costume is fucking gay though. i would have done much better. fathering a child with a 40+ year old woman at 19 however, i would support. (the actor not the character).

and jenna is red mist. cos she drives and has a car. also cos the actor is fogel aka mclovin in superbad....HILARIOUS! although michael cera is in that movie. so she'll just have to double up there. and i'm the fat guy, seth. cos he's the ringleader. plus he gets the hottest chick. who isn't even that hot but oh well. he is also fat...

for harry potter doppler ganger week, i was cho chang. obviously cos she's asian and a chick. cho chang is a less hot and scottish accented version of me.

what a long fucking blog.

i shall end it with a picture that will blow your mind. in the maths corridor at my educational institution, i was walking across a few years ago looking for some adhesive materials when i stumbled across a whole collection of optical illusions hanging on the walls. "how. fucking. awesome." i thought. the artist is a flying dutchman. m.c. escher. (yeah i looked it up cos i knew if i said "oh yeah it's by some awesome dude but i forget his name"...some DOUCHEBAG would annoy me about it later...YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, FAGAL)

i like this one:

when i leave the horrid educational institution i am currently at, i may approach my maths teacher with a proposition. to get all the pictures off him. or i could just buy them myself elsewhere. either way i will own them all. plus jenna is making me a shirt of another picture.

so i'm cool.